How I would end Game of Thrones

Game of Thrones spoilers ahead.

Beric, Tormund, and the last of the wildlings ride frantically into Winterfell, bringing ill news…

I’m not here to tell you everything that will happen. I’m not even here to tell you how it ends. No, I am here to tell you how it should end.

There is one faction not oft spoke of – the red church. Melisandre has set sail for Volantis, where sits the High Priestess, Kinvara. We met her once and have seen she has power. She believes Danaerys is Azor Ahai.

Kinvara and the strength of the Red Church come to Westeros. She whispers sweet nothings in the dragon queen’s ears – you are the prince who was promised. Your destiny is to rule over lesser beings. Danaerys has heard it all before, but that only makes her need it more.

Trouble is brewing. Jon has distanced himself from Dany, disgusted by the thought of being with his aunt. Danaerys is threatened by the revelation that the Iron Throne is not hers by right. The Northern Lords are angry at being vassaled to a foreign queen. Tyrion reveals Cersei is pregnant in a bid to convince the Mother of Dragons to spare his sister’s life – but she refuses. All her enemies, and all their heirs, must be destroyed. Tyrion’s doubt grows.

Varys in particular in particular is furious that his greatest hope is being corrupted by his greatest enemy. He plots to destroy her – but fatally underestimates the power of Kinvara. He is discovered, and Danaerys bathes him in dragonfire. At least she is a woman of her word.

This is the final blow to Tyrion’s loyalty to the queen he was once oh so devoted to. He tries to approach Jon, but he will not hear it. The dead are coming. He swore an oath. So the half-man sends a raven south – to his sister. Advising her on defeating the silver-haired bitch.

The dead arrive. It is a terrible battle. But the dead are defeated – Beric gives his life so that Jon can slay the knight king once and for all.

The living win, but they are battered. Bloody. Danaerys is feeling very alone. Greywurm and the last of the unsullied, having escaped from Casterly Rock, die fighting the undead. Missandei too. Her army is badly hurt. Tyrion won’t see her. Jon is her lover no more. She has only two voices whispering in her ear – Jorah and Kinvara. The second voice says, “You are queen now. Burn the nonbelievers”. The coin is flipped.

The Northerners who dislike her die fiery deaths if they do not convert. Jon, finally, chooses his people over his oath.

Jorah is loyal to the end. He is killed by men bearing his father’s crest, sent by young Lyanna. Kinvara, for all her witchery, is felled by Davos. Drogon is weak from the battle with dread Vyserion – he dies to his brother Rhaegal, who has chosen the son of the one for whom he was named. And Danerys herself is killed by a distraught Jon. As he pulls longclaw out of the fire queen, he is now truly Azor Ahai.

The forces of good, though victorious in this, have ill fate ahead – for the golden company, led by Bronn and The Mountain arrive. They hopelessly outnumber the bruised and battered coalition. Another bloody battle, this one even more visceral.

Arya sees her chance for revenge. She strikes – but Gregor is far too much for her. Sandor sees his former charge about to fall to his brother’s blade… behind a wall of dragonfire. He at last finds his courage and leaps to her defence.

For the first and last time, a mountain is felled by a dog.

As Sandor lies dying from his wounds, Arya thanks him for all he’s done. Finally, he is at peace.

But the battle goes ill – but there is one more twist to play. Ser Bronn of the Blackwater has, of course, been promised a castle by Cersei. But Tyrion, remembering his promise to the knight all those years ago, has offered him two – the Twins. So Bronn takes his men and attacks the golden company from within. After much blood, it is over.

One final thread to tie. It is lonely in the throne room, especially for one so doomed as Cersei. Her enemies pour into King’s Landing – but Jaime gets there first. Just as Cersei, wretched with fury, commands Qyburn to ignite the rest of the wildfire stores beneath the city. He knows what he must do.

At last, there is piece. The final players meet to decide what is to be done with the kingdoms. Jon will not take them, he simply wishes to rule in the north. Who can they put on the iron throne that they can trust, that will be trust, and most importantly has the right lineage?

I know just the man, says Ser Davos.

And so begins the reign of Gendry Baratheon, First of his Name, King of the Andals and the First Men, Lord of the Six Kingdoms, and Protector of the Realm.

Bonus round:
Davos - hand of the king
Melisandre - killed by Arya
Dolorous Edd - dies at castle black buying time for the rest of the free peoples
Tormund/Brienne - marry and settle in the lands once controlled by the Boltons
Tyrion/Sansa - marry and take Casterly Rock
Sam/Gilly - marry and take High Garden

Ilyn Pane should return in some form, as the actor has recovered.